I need to write...

I need to write but I don't know what to write because there's too many thoughts and I don't feel well - I don't mean physically for once in my life but mentally I can't believe this or anything anything at all really what am I doing I hate the nights now hate them hate them when did that happen I love the night but not now not here not without something to do something to say some place to be somewhere to be with you or them or us or we or whatever, just not here and now at night by myself in this room this room this high up room on the 32nd floor looking down down down all the way down to the street down below on the ground floor the ground but from up here way up high the ground is so little so teeny tiny little with teeny tiny people teeny tiny ant people and i'm up high where i'm still not big, i'm just me, just tiny me and i want to be big but not really just me but someone not famous but someone. Breathe.